Sometimes when everything is rolling along with lots of larfs as we call them, a jolt of the real world comes crashing down and you again remember that life isn’t just about cookies and brownies and bad grass. On Monday we found out that my dad would need immediate heart surgery and today we took him to the hospital for the angiogram to determine the procedure he will require in his operation tomorrow morning. It’s all so serious. Fortunately, that’s not how our family operates. Why you ask? It’s always better to laugh.
This morning when my sister and I went to pick up my dad we had already decided that we would be taking his car for the run to the hospital. We arrived at his house, right on time, we found the car was out of the garage, turned around and ready to roll. I thought he was just excited to get going but then I realized he doesn’t want me backing his new car out of his driveway (see previous blog posts for explanation). Can’t say I blame him. Anyway, we entered his car and were overcome by an incredible level of noise, like Las Vegas casinos or those video game arcades. There was the key in the ignition with the door open warning, the two people in front seats without seatbelts alarm, and Broadway show tunes blasting digitally clear and commercial free from the XM Radio. As I turned off his street and made a left, even the turn signal clicking was amazingly loud, so loud in fact that I had to ask, “why is everything so loud in here?” After adjusting his hearing aids, he said that he went into the car’s computer and turned all the sounds, buzzers and warnings to maximum volume. He didn’t say why but we can certainly guess that thats how he rolls. He then opened his phone to a whole other series of max volume ringtones, reminders, and alerts to give the numbers of all his friends we had to keep apprised of the coming situation. Pretty soon after a heated debate no one could hear on how to even get to where we had to go, we arrived.
Shortly after having him admitted and moving to a preliminary exam room, a staff member came in to tell us about the upcoming angiogram. The problem was we couldn’t hear her either as my dad had the room tv on max volume and couldn’t figure out how to use the remote to lower the sound or turn off the power. It turned out that he had to flip through 72 channels of daytime television at major league volume, one by one, to get to the exit screen. By this time my sister and I were starting to laugh, but when all his pocket change rolled across the floor and we had to take away the fattest wallet since George Costanza (see photo), we really cracked up.
We took it as a good sign for tomorrow morning.